Heart Breaking

This picture greeted me when I opened my paper on the train yesterday morning and it was all I could do to keep from crying. It's all just so big and horrible your brain just can't seem to process it, it somehow doesn't seem real. Then you see something like this and it's one person and you can't understand or relate or imagine at all but it makes it more real. Because it's a person. And this is her life.

I'm still awake

Why am I still awake? Who knows. I haven't been out on the town and come back slightly tipsy and decided to write a blog post. In fact, I've spent most of the evening/night watching Grey's Anatomy. I don't even really like Grey's Anatomy, I just have this thing where I get unhealthily attached to a random tv-show and then I watch it obsessively for hours on end every day until I run out of episodes and then I move on. Not necessarily to another show, just with my life.
Anyway, that's not what I was going to write about.
I'm worried about my ear. Or rather my piercing. Maybe worried is too strong a word, concerned might be better. Either way, it's doing something weird. Some odd looking bumps have developed. I'm pretty sure it's scarring but what do I know. So I'm going to go see my piercer tomorrow. Because I really don't want another infection, I can't handle that again. Not that scarring is much better. I can live with how it looks now but if it gets worse I might have to take it out.
I really want this piercing but not if it means having a permanently disfigured ear. Because as much as I love it now, I'm pretty sure I won't want a bar through the top of my ear for the rest of my life.
So I'm going to finish the Grey's episode I'm watching now then go to bed.
'Cause I also have a million other things to do tomorrow. Things that I've decided to do, not things I actually have to do. I have nothing I have to do on weekends. I don't exactly have people knocking down my door!
Ok, this has turned into a self-pitying emo post. I'm tired. I might delete this tomorrow. Or edit it. Who knows.

I also have really bad heart burn. Which is something I haven't had in a while. So that's interesting.

Um, what?

So, Kate Moss smoked a cigarette on the catwalk a few days ago. I saw the picture in the paper and I can't honestly say that my reaction was more than: Huh, what, why? Then I moved on. It didn't have any impact on my life whatsoever.
And yes, it was probably bad. Glamorising smoking and blah blah. I mostly just didn't understand the point of it or the reason for it...
Then today I read this* and again I thought: Huh, what? I mean this woman is really angry. At Kate Moss. Not Louis Vuitton, not Marc Jacobs, not whoever was in charge of the fashion show (I know nothing of the fashion industry but I'm guessing that someone designs/directs these things?) but Kate Moss.
I might be very wrong here but I kinda figured this was a planned thing. Something that was a part of the show, like the clothes, the hair, the make-up. Not Kate Moss deciding she fancied a fag as she went on the catwalk and she just happened to have a pack of ciggies and a lighter in the pocket of her hotpants. I feel like I'm missing something here. It feels like blaming an actor for smoking in a movie. When you really should blame the director/writer for making the character smoke. It feels like a witch hunt and The Daily Mail has cast Kate Moss as the witch. This lady does not pull her punches...

I'm no angel, I'm not a "good girl" who's never broken any rules or done bad things. Smoking, underage drinking, generally behaving badly - I've done it. I have never done it because an actor/model/singer I liked and admired did it. I have never seen a movie where all the cool characters smoke and felt the need to emulate them. Maybe I'm an exception, but I really don't think so. I don't think those are the reasons 21% of Brits smoke. And when she writes: "...The health study found one boy started smoking cigarettes at the age of three — because his family thought it was funny." I think even she knows we can blame celebs for that.
But, then again, I could be wrong.
What do I know?

I don't know if I'm making any sense.

And this is not just because I love Kate Moss, which I do. This is not just because I think Kate Moss is one of the most beautiful women in the world and I would marry her if she asked me.
I'm genuinely confused. I don't understand. And I hate not understanding!

*Yes, this is The Daily Mail and we all know they like a rant (although usually it's about immigrants, hoodies and/or the lack of "values" in today's society) so I shouldn't really take it too seriously.

Mad world

I've been hearing about the earthquake in Japan all day, but it wasn't until I went to have my nails done and the TV was tuned to a news channel that I realised the magnitude of the thing. I sat there watching the footage of the quake and the tsunami and cars and houses being swept away and we all kept repeating holy crap, that's terrible.

And I've been thinking. Just lately there seems to be so much death and destruction. More than usual I mean. More than the stuff that goes on every day of every year but never gets reported for that exact reason: it's not news.
I mean, we're only in the first quarter of this year and we've had earthquakes and floods and half of North Africa and the Arab world seems to have gone into meltdown. At least what's going on there is kind of positive. Not the people dying and being hurt. That's obviously never good. But you know, they're fighting. They're struggling to achieve something they've not had for a long time, if ever. There is hope. Or maybe hope that there can be hope.

But all the death. And suffering. There just seems to be so much of it these days. You almost have to brace yourself before you turn on the TV or open a newspaper.

I really don't know what I'm saying here. It's sad. I think that's it.

Million Women Rise

I have finally, just in time for International Womens Day, managed to upload my pictures from the Million Women Rise march I went to on Saturday! It was a brilliant day, in every way.

I met up with some lovely ladies and we made our way to Hyde Park where the march was leaving from. As I was on my own, the women form LFN took me under their wing (and roped me into help carry the banner!).

 

We admired each others' signs. This one in particular!

Then we set off.

We marched through the streets of central London, chanting and singing.

                                      

At one point even dancing!

The David & Nick sign was one of my favourites!

And the we arrived at Trafalgar Square.

                                                 

Where we listened to many strong women give inspirational speeches.

What a day!

Women of the world unite!

Happy International Women's Days everyone!

Doesn't look like it's going to happen

I've spent ages tonight trying to put some pictures from the Million Women March I went to yesterday on this stupid blog. It ain't, however, playing ball.
So I'm just going to have to do it tomorrow...

And btw, everything seems to take forever and be kinda shitty computer/internet wise tonight.
I don't know if it's my laptop or our crappy internet connection but one thig it definitely is: very annoying.

Also, my new digi box isn't working. Or rather, the box is working but I can't get a signal strong enough to get more than about 5 channels (and a bunch of radio stations). And they're not even the good ones. The channels, haven't checked the radio stations. Don't really listen to the radio. But I digress. In my room there is no wall thing to plug an aerial cable into (for the outdoor aerial) so I have to use an indoor one, you know the bunny ears on the telly, and this is apparently not good enough. So I'm going to get a new one. Tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day when I'm doing things. It's lucky I have the day off.

So, conclusion: boo for technology. 

This just in

Today M (13) said that she'd told a friend at school about my new scaffold piercing and also that I have some other piercings and a tattoo and her friend had said I was cool.
So it's official, I'm cool!
If only 13 year old girls had thought I was cool 15 years ago...

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