By the bye

I have just realised that my hometown (Umea is Sweden) will be the European Capital of Culture for 2014!
I'm not quite sure what this means but you can bet I'll be finding out.
Go Umea!!!!


Actually, now that I think about it, I've actually known this for a while
but the penny seems to have just dropped...

So I think everyone should visit Umea in 2014!

Grattis Ume!

sab x

Don't know what to say...

Been a bit down in the dumps lately...
I think I need to grow a thicker skin.
Not judge everybody by the standards I set for myself.

If I say I'm going do something, I do it.
If I say I'm going to be somewhere, a certain time, I am.
If I love someone, I'll do anything for them.
Move heaven and earth to make them happy.
I can't bear the thought of disappointing or hurting someone...

So I expect the same from everyone else.
I expect them to care as much about me as I do about them.
And then I get disappointed. And upset. And angry.
But what right do I have?
They have to live their life how they choose, who am I to judge?

I have tried caring, loving, less. But I can't.
I don't work that way...

So I have to accept that the people I love don't work the same way as me.
Or bugger off...

Maybe for some people "being tired" is a valid reason for bailing out on a plan.
I always work "late" and I'm usually tired and would never see that as a good enough reason to disappoint a friend. But that's me.
I can't expect others to think the same way, can I?

I need to become more accepting of others.
Grow a thicker skin.
Not judge other by the standard I set for myself.

Now, how do I do that?

sab x

arty farty

Stage one completed.
Big Stamp And Scrapbooking Show today, at Ally Pally, and it was all that I could hope for and all that I didn't.
As usual loads of people - some nice, some not so...
Loads of things to buy and look at (if you were lucky enough to actually get to the goodies).
Lot's of getting bumped into and shoved around.
And loooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaads of money leaving my purse...
This time I also managed to hook up with some of the lovely ladees from DC and discuss chocolate chip cookies!

Came back to James' (friend/ex-something) and went straight to bed for a (well needed) rest.
Up now and starving!!!!
James has gone to the shop to get some stuff for dinner, after I shouted at him quite a bit - I get grumpy when I'm hungry!

(Oh my god, my bag full of stash from Ally Pally just fell over very slowly with a creaking sound , making me run screaming from the room! Yes I scare easily...)

Gonna shift myself to the sofa in a bit to see if there's anything good on the telly...
And stroke my stash!

laters
sab x

Why does everything fun happen the same weekend?

I like my weekends to be relaxing.
Preferably to have one day of doing nothing.
I can't live without my duvet days, I hate going back to work on a monday feeling even more tired that I did before the weekend.
I need to recharge...

How, and when, that's going to happen this weekend I do not know.
This weekend is the Big Stamp and Scrapbooking Show, Run To The Beat and the London Tattoo Convention and of course I'm going to all of these events.
How? I hear you ask. I'll tell you.
Tomorrow I'm going to get up bright and early to make a packed lunch. Then I will go to clapham junction to drop my laptop and some clothes off to my friend/ex whatever.
Then go to BSSBS.
Then back to his for some food and possibly a dvd.
Sunday, up bright and early again (I hate getting up early on weekends!) to go watch some of his friends run the half marathon. How much do you want to bet it's going to rain?
Then some food (I hope!). Then tattoo convention.
Then back to his again to eat and sleep.
Monday: die.

So now I'm going to read some more of Northanger Abbey, ice a cake with my little angel then go to bed.

Happy days!
Sab x

loving it

my brother recommended this band to me and I love them!
They're on repeat on my spotify now...

Btw, spotify doesn't seem all that big in the uk.
Who's got it?

sab x

Why, oh why?

Why did I ever get into blogging?!
I know how obsessed I can get with things and what a perfectionist I am...
And the more I get into it, the more I want to do.
I want to add this, I want to change that...
Now I've gotten myself into a right tangle where I'm trying to do lots of things I can't do and don't understand!
And everytime I find the answer it creates twice as many questions...
I feel like I've started at the end and I'm trying to find my way to the start.

I'll keep trying though!
I just wish there was a person in my (real) life that knew about these things and could guide me through it...
I think when I go back to sweden for christmas I'm going to book my cousin for a day of tutoring.
He's really clever and studied computer geekiness at uni!

Good night and Good luck
sab x

The dentist hurted my mouth...

I went to the dentist today...
I was kinda freaked out by my sister having to have her tooth pulled and since I was told nearly a year ago that I needed a filling I thought I should prob get on with that to avoid the same fate!
So, booked myself in.
Now, I hate the dentist...
I don't know why, but it just really freaks me out!
I mean there's the pain and all that, and I don't handle pain well, but that's not it...
I can't stand the sensation when they stick those things in my teeth, those pointy things, it makes me feel nauseuos.
And the smell, eurgh!
And I hate how your mouth feels when it's been numbed.
I don't like having a strangers hands in my mouth and they're face so close to mine (it's the same at the opticians, except for the hands in the mouth thing obviously)!
And the drill, but I think everyone feels the same on that matter...
So yeah, all in all, not something I enjoy.
I break out in a cold sweat and forget to breath.
When I was having my wisdom teeth out a nurse had to sit next to me and remind me to breathe...
But today the little angel I look after was home sick from school so he had to come with me.
Now, I try very hard to be a good rolemodel (well occasionally anyways) and letting him see me freak out at the dentist didn't seem very good.
I think these kinds of behaviours are learned and if he sees important adults in his life being afraid of the dentist, well that fear might be passed on to him.
So I had to play it cool.
I think I did rather well and, considering I love to moan about things, I was rather brave....

I just hope he didn't see my knuckle-whitening grip on the arm rests of the dentist chair.
At least I didn't cry, I have been known to you know...

The numbness has orn off and I'm now munching brownies! Yum!
I made myself a cup of tea when we got back but had to drink it through a straw, it's easy to miss your mouth when you can't feel your lip!

Yours etc
Sab x