I have mixed feelings about my life at the moment.
I'm happy and relieved that I've finished college (with acceptable grades) and survived the nine months of working and studying. At the same time it feels sad to think that I'm never going back there again. I did have fun and I met so many wonderful people and while I know for a fact that I will stay in touch with many of them, many others are going to unis in other parts of the country and others are not the kind of friends I hang out with outside of school but spent a lot of time with in college and whom I will miss.
I'm happy to have some actual free time now, and I get so bored with all this time on my hands.
I'm so excited about going to university in September and my knees turn to jelly when I think of this big step. Will it meet my expectations? Will I make friends? Will I be the old fart surrounded by bright eyed 18 year olds?
I'm looking forward to finally getting on and moving forward with my life, and I'm reduced to tears when I think of leaving the children I have looked after for so many years and whom I have seen grow up.
I can't wait to have my own home and no longer be a live-in nanny, but I worry about how I will manage financially.
My head is spinning. I know it will be fine. I am constantly freaking out.