things that make you smile

I love this little boy.
I think he's my hero!

"Wahey!"

sab x

Does anyone actually read this blog?

I was just wondering.
I write.
Does anyone read?
Or is this just another waste of my time?

sun is shining, the weather is sweet

It's a glorious day.
Sun is shining.
Am I doing something today?

I can feel my heart beating in my head.
I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks.
Partly due to insomnia
but also kids' sleepovers and parents shouting
right outside my door.

Do I have to do something?
Just because it's sunny.
I mean it's not like people are lining up
'round the block to hang out.
It's not like I have a single place to go.
Or a single thing to do.

What if I just want to sleep?
Forever.
Hibernate 'til things start looking up.
Or buy a one-way ticket somewhere else.
Anywhere else.

I think I'll just go back to bed.
Wait for people to reply to my texts.
Or not.
As is so often the case.

Either way, I'm sick of trying.

au revoir simone

why not...

sab x

Reality check - on feeling sorry for yourself

I've been feeling sorry for myself all day.
I'm all alone boohoo.
I have no-one to spend valentine's day with boohoo.
etc etc

I came on here to blog about it.
Before I had a chance to hit the "new post" button
something in my reading list caught my eye.

For a while I've been following a blog
written by a mum who's 12-year old son
is dying of cancer.
The last few days have been really bad.
Today's post is entitled Inga Andetag Nu
roughly translated - No more breaths.

I don't feel sorry for myself anymore.
I mostly feel ashamed.

You can read the blog here:
Annas Anatomi
and if you feel so inclined, donate some money to
one of the collections she links to.

sab x

Umm...

I'm watching a show on channel 4 called
One born every minute.
It's women giving birth...
I'm not sure it's a good idea for me to watch this.
I kinda had this idea that it would be all nice and
sweet and aww, look a baby.
But it's all pain and grunting and horribleness.
And babies of course.
And of course I know that childbirth is not fluffy
cotton candy and summer meadows ans pink roses.
It's bloody and messy and painful.
And things go wrong...

I'm not sure what I'm getting at.
Just I don't think this is helping
my fear of childbirth...

sab x